Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Trick or Treaters Wanted

Whatever happened to Halloween? And what the heck is “Trunk or Treat”? It sounds like something we should be doing with our significant others after the kids are asleep.

Seriously, does anyone else miss watching munchkins walk door to door, their plastic pumpkin heads filled with delicious goods? Spotting preteen Elvis’ and witches enjoying what may be their last year, carrying pillow covers sagging with loot. Do our children really have to settle for candy out of trunks in church parking lots and trick or treating at local malls?

And c’mon it’s not like you can trust everyone at church anyways. Yeah, I said it.

Let’s teach our kids we can have faith in our neighbors. And if you don’t want your kids to get overloaded on sugar, collect the candy and give it to charity. Or better yet, issue a snack out every once in a while, practice some control.

Let’s not make it so difficult. Look forward to Halloween, don’t be afraid, dress up your little pumpkins, grab some flashlights, sacks for treats and hit the streets.

Here’s the plan, pick the houses you want to visit, and don’t go to the scary ones. Spend time with your kids while you still can, they’ll be driving away in your SUVs before you know it. Have a Kit Kat and relax already, you’re gonna have a good time.
BTW trick or treating can be considered cardio.

Get in the spirit; throw on a funky hat or wig or something. Remember I’m not trying to change the world; just having a little bit of candy is all. It’s one night, enjoy it and get on with your life.

Save the real stress for Christmas, its only 70 days away and counting.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Most of the ladies I know do not look forward to football season. Now that we are in the thick of it, instead of loathing it, why not join the party? Coming from a girl who loves the sport, my goal is to encourage women to tolerate it at the very least, maybe even learn to love the game.

Women appreciate tasty hot wings, cold beer and cute guys, right? I’d say we’re halfway there. My suggestion is this, just try to look at football from a different angle -- the female angle; it’s a great way to meet men, tailgating is encouraged, and the football uniforms look pretty damn good from here.

I’m not asking you to learn what a “false start” is, or what the Tight End does, or even what a 2-point conversion means. I’m just asking you to look at football in a way you’ve never seen it before, through Gucci sunglasses and eyelash extensions.

Here are the top ten reasons Ladies should enjoy football season:

10. Mark Sanchez - sure he's a tad young, but he'll be around for a while.

9. For once, you may know where your boyfriend/husband is every Monday night, Thursday night and Sunday. Include Saturday too, if he’s a college football guy, and what self-respecting football watcher isn’t?

8. He won’t care if you go shopping as long as you stay out of the way of the TV.

7. Tony Gonzalez, even if he is married.

6. Football season only lasts around five months, six if you include pre-season, and that’s a helluva lot shorter than baseball season.

5. A great reason to start drinking early on a Sunday.

4. You can give your Swedish maid costume a break because your guy is totally involved in another fantasy.

3. He won’t actually drag you to a game unless you head to San Diego or Northern Cal; we’re still the largest metropolitan area without a football team. Didn’t the Rams leave like 16 years ago?

2. When a girl wears a football jersey it hides all of the squishy parts and boys think girls in sports outfits are awfully cute.

1. Did I mention Tom Brady?

So go forth ladies with your new outlook and celebrate the best tradition since turkey on Thanksgiving, or ham on New Year’s Day and yes, we all watch football on those days too. So throw your hair in a ponytail, grab a frosty one and join me and the boys, because it’s going to be another long, magnificent season.

Brought to you by MyOCMommy